Silenced

When relationships end, people drift away. It’s often the most satisfying feeling ever or the most painfullest thing. I will truthfully say, I still love you, maybe not as much. But I will always have a heart for you, but I know what’s right for both of us. And now you’ve proven my point that it’s much better this way. I can tell you have removed me from everywhere that I can be seen, and that’s okay with me. I would have too. I knew this was the way it should be, because for this whole year, it’s been much of a struggle to keep us together. Both, separated by our own lives. Unable to enjoy what’s around us, just to please the other person. What I’ve grown to realize is that, when we were together…I enjoyed everything. Of course we argued more than anyone else out there, but we still managed to pull through, most of the times. I don’t have a sense of regret at all. You were by far the greatest experience of my life, and I wouldn’t change any of that.
Now we’re gone off in two different directions..I just I hope one day..when we’re both ready, we can still chat, just as friends. 

I know you’d never believe me, and I know you’d never see this..

But truthfully, in the beginning…

The only reason why I chose to stay here was because I no longer want to remove you from the society, placing you in my arms just for my comfort. You haven’t enjoyed any of the city, the friends and the social life, because of me. And if I did return, I would constantly be pulling you back and I just didn’t want things to turn into hatred. I didn’t want us to argue, and I didn’t want to take you away from your friends. My biggest concern would be us breaking up, and the deep fear of seeing each other everyday for 6 hours. I know I am to blame, I wasn’t strong enough. I didn’t believe we could make it at the end because I was so hurt by the distance between us, emotionally and not physically. 

If you think it’s about the education, that would just be a lie. Never once was the education my main priority. You were. Here I was, afraid to go home. But we’re both at the stage of moving on with our lives, forgetting one another. But I guess I’m just not there yet, I haven’t removed you completely. But I’m growing happier even with the thought of you sometimes. 
Though it seemed like I was deeply concentrated in studies, I wasn’t. As hard as I tried, I never quite got there. It definitely showed in my exams. I tried to push as hard as I could, but the end results won’t be satisfying. But I do care, education is important, and thank god for a great education system here. It is a great advantage of staying. 
I’m glad you’ve found your happiness, I’ve heard great stories, I’ve seen great pictures. Life keeps on moving and I won’t regret a thing. I’m glad to know that you’ve discovered that life is much greater without me. That’s perhaps the hardest thing to take in, but the most rewarding. Now I know for sure I chose the right path to take. LIfe will get better, the sun is starting to shine. I can smile a little bit more each day. A path…without you..it was a challenge. But now it’s presenting with utter greatness. 

At this point, I no longer am afraid of home. I’ll come, but I won’t stay long. I’ll enjoy the freedom and the relaxation that I will have. I’ll continue to be pushing on, and looking towards the future. But I’ll take a visit down memory lane. Visiting the areas that we once went to together. At this point, I blame nobody for the end of us. I’m just glad it all happened. But I’m ready to keep living life. Creating new paths, but never erasing the old ones